Why My DUI Really Sucked
Printed Anonymously by Jonko.com

EDITOR'S NOTE: Unlike most articles that appear here on the pages of Jonko.com, this piece doesn't involve auto repair. Quite simply, it is a firsthand account of a DUI arrest and subsequent "punishments" meted out by the State of California. Our contributor asked that his name be withheld, and we have obliged. Nevertheless, this story is an accurate account of why you should do everything in your power to avoid getting behind the wheel when you've had a few to drink.

It was a typical fall evening in Northern California. The sky was clear, the air was a bit cool and we we're leaving our friend's wedding on the way to their reception. We had discussed taking a cab to the wedding and reception, but we arrived in town late and after checking in at the hotel, we decided on the "I'll only have a few..." method. We left the hotel and drove the five miles to the wedding. An hour or so later we departed the wedding and headed to the reception. The location was all of about 6 miles from our hotel.

We arrived at the reception at 6PM. It was slated to conclude at midnight. I figured I could probably have about a drink an hour and be alright. I'm 6' and about 175lbs. If the drinks are interspersed with dinner, glasses of water, and sundry desserts there should be no problem staying sober enough to make it the few miles back to our hotel.

I entered the reception and took one of the champagne flutes offered by the waiters at the door. We mingled and talked. About 45 minutes later I had my second champagne flute. More mingling and talking. I discussed college football and why west coast teams are nothing compared to those in the Big Ten or SEC. At around 7:45 we began to sit down for dinner. I had a water as we waited for our server to come around and refresh our drinks and to bring bread and salad.

Around 8PM everyone was seated and I had a glass of white wine. Dinner was served. I had several glasses of water with the meal and also ate several rolls to "be safe." The meal was filet mignon with potaoes and vegetables. I was sure that with the salad, rolls, water, and large steak dinner I was relatively safe. I finished dinner at around 9PM and had a bit of the cake for dessert. After dessert, I had consumed a total of four drinks (2 champagnes, 2 white wines) for the evening. It was now roughly 9:30PM. My fiancee wanted to dance a bit so we headed to the dance floor.

I grabbed an additional round of wines for us and I finished my fifth drink by 10. Thinking about it I was a bit ahead of schedule (I should have had only 4 by 10 if only 1 an hour.) but it didn't seem much a problem. The hotel was only a stone's throw and I still felt "very sober."

We danced and I finished my 6th drink (wine) sometime before 11. I then began "sobering up" and drinking just water. I did take a sip or two from my fiancee's wine, partly to tease her and partly just because, but for the majority of the final hour I drank only water.

At midnight the reception ended and we we're directed to our cars. (As an aside -- if we get married I will be insisting on a little mini-bus to shuttle folks to and from the reception. Of all the things that can happen to your friends, I cannot imagine wanting them to deal with the ordeal I have faced, nor can I imagine allowing someone to become so incapacitated at a function to celebrate your marriage that they could drive off and kill somebody that night...)

Continue to page two -- The Arrest